The Aftershock
by prin69
Summary: Abby goes back the the shrink one more time. On the agenda? Missing Gibbs. Being angry. And not being able to control others actions.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

Timeline:After Gibbs left.

... Spoliers: Gibbs said he was leaving.

Uh, so I had a hard time finding a way to end this. So sorry that the ending is (a bit) crappy. She's talking to a paramedic at the end. Um. I just really wanted to get this up before the new season started. Spelling/grammar mistakes my fault. if you find any feel free to tell me and I'll try to fix them in a timely matter. Thank you!

One-shot.

**XxXxxXxxXxxXXx**

"Hello, Abby. How are you today?"

"Hey doc, Gibbs left and I cut myself five times."

"Let's start with him leaving, shall we?"

"Well. Gibbs decided that he was done with work. There was this case and it got to him pretty close, so he just up and left."

"And the cutting, may I see it?"

"Right here, on my thigh."

"Why, Abby?"

"Well. The thigh so no one would see it. And I figured you can cut to the bone with my angry obsessions, so why not really try to cut to the bone."

"Did you get that far?"

"Nope. Had to stop."

"Why?"

"I would have passed out, lost all my blood, and died. Then I wouldn't be able to see you. And if I couldn't see you then I couldn't get chalky happy pills, and their consequences."

"You do understand that I will be having a paramedic take you to the hospital, right Abby?"

"Yep. But I figure it'll take them long enough to get here that we can still talk for a while. Is that okay, doc?"

"Of course, Abby. What else do you want to talk about?"

"I couldn't stop crying. I got home after he said goodbye and I just couldn't stop. I was crying so hard that I started choking. I was standing my living room choking until it soaked into all these anxious little fits. I think I smashed some things up. I'm pretty sure that there's a dent in a wall somewhere. It's like, it's like he left me in a room covered in broken glass. And even if I make it out I'm all cut up and the glass had HIV on it so I'm still affected forever."

"He's not dead, Abby. Just gone."

"But he's mine! Gibbs is mine! He comes down to see me. And he, he, he… . He just can't be gone. Doesn't he know how much I need him?"

"Have you ever told him?"

"He should know."

"Abby, we've talked about this. You can not expect people to magically know things that you don't tell them."

"But this is Gibbs, he knows everything."

"Fine."

"I'm tired of thinking. I'm tired of sleeping. I'm tired of waking up. Of eating, of dreaming, of everything."

"What about work?"

"What about it?"

"You love it."

"No. I used to love it, doc. Part of it was knowing that Gibbs was there. Now I know that he won't be there anymore and it just makes me sad."

"So what do you want to do?"

"I want to be locked up."

"Abby-"

"No. There's nothing else I want to do right now. I can't promise that I won't hurt myself again. I can't concentrate at work."

"The doctor at the hospital will examine you."

"And another shrink will ask me questions. They'll decide, I know, I know. But I've got to have some say in this, right?"

"Abby, if you could say something to Gibbs right now, with no fear of consequences, what would it be?"

"I don't want to do this."

"Abby."

"No."

"Abby, uncurl yourself, put your legs down, sit up straight, and talk to the empty chair next to you as if Gibbs were sitting in it."

"I don't want to."

"Fine then. You can wait outside for the paramedics."

"No! Fine, I'll do it. Just… ."

"You can say whatever you want."

"Okay. Gibbs, I… . I hate you! Wait, no I don't! I hate what you did to me. You promised that you'd always be there for me and then you just left me. You said that you would never leave me. And yeah, a part of me never really believed that, but I mostly did. And now you're gone. What am I supposed to do without you? … . I cut again, Gibbs. I cried the entire time cause I knew you would be so disappointed in me. And that just made me sadder so I did it again and again and deeper each time. You made my head a mess. I'm seeing my doc again, and going to have to take tests. I'll have enough empty bottles to bury me alive. I miss you. I miss you so much, Gibbs. Why? Why did you have to leave me? Why?"

"It's okay, Abby, let it out. The crying is good."

"I don't want him to go!"

"I know. But you can't stop people from doing what they want to."

"I want to die."

"No, you don't."

"Why couldn't he stay?"

"People have to do what's best for them, Abby."

"I know. I just, I miss him. …. I'm going to have to let him go, aren't I?"

"I'm afraid so."

"Goodbye, Gibbs. It's been a great run. I'll miss you, I'll work hard and try to make you proud. and I'll make sure the team is okay."

"Hello?"

"She's right here."

"Hello, Abby, is it?"

"Yep."

"Okay and how are you feeling?"

"Well Doc, the day is looking up."


End file.
